September 17, 2019
What would it be like to dream again? To believe you can achieve goals that inspire you?
How would it feel to set a goal you believe you can achieve, even in the midst of your responsibilities at home and work?
Would you like to dream again and think bigger than where you are now?
A problem we face as busy women is forgetting to imagine, dream and believe in our goals.
We risk becoming distracted from believing our goals are worthwhile and achievable because we spend the bulk of our time meeting our tasks at home and work.
Sometimes it’s taxing to imagine a goal in the first place because we’re so busy and don’t have much time.
Brandon Burchard, in his book High Performance Habits  states “Isn’t it true that you already know how to get stuff done, yet sometimes you limit your vision for the future because you’re already so busy, so stressed, so overextended?” (in the introduction).
It’s not that we aren’t dreamers or goal setters. To come as far as we have in our careers required dreaming, hoping, planning and building.
It’s just the demands take over because we are responsible and dependable. In this life of responsibility, the word “responsible” becomes a requirement, not a joy. Then joy becomes a luxury we forget to carry. This doesn’t mean we’re miserable, just busy, occupied and distracted.
Researchers here looked at how people set goals when they are depressed. This article interested me because, even if we’re not depressed, we are sometimes burned out, tired or overworked. This deflates our motivation and expectancy for new joys and achievements. Depression is different to feeling a bit low or deflated by our busy lives, but the findings in this study are helpful for setting goals and building habits for achievement.
The researchers found, when it comes to goal setting, people with depression:
What if we define responsibility in a new way so we can build motivation again?
What if we choose to look at the responsibilities we carry as the way to optimism and hope and the propulsion towards the dreams we hide?
We can be responsible even if we are deflated, overworked or depressed. By now, in our careers and families, we probably do this without giving ourselves credit.
Being responsible isn’t just doing what has to be done. Instead, it’s knowing our gifts and talents and viewing ourselves as responsible to use them to better ourselves and others.
Rather than just doing what we have to do because we’re skilled and obligated to be responsible, we can look at responsibility as the opposite of pessimism and the means to optimism and achievement.
Normally the opposite of pessimism is defined as optimism, and this is true as pure opposites like dark and light. But even in dark and light, our eyes still see variations such as shapes in the dark and shadows in the light.
So our initial visualization of pessimism and optimism are opposite ends of one line. Instead, I propose we see responsibility placed in the middle of this line. It is the mediator or vehicle to a life of hope and expectancy.
The task here is to reframe our responsibilities and obligations as part of a fulfilling life.
If a dream or a life goal seems out of reach, we need a way to believe again. We might think our current reality and roles we carry hinder our dreams. But what if we looked at our responsibilities through a new frame? What if we saw our obligations as revealing our abilities and resources so we can pursue a new dream?
Write two lists of five items. One list is for your work responsibilities. The other for your home responsibilities.
Below each list of five items, write for a few minutes about how these roles reveal your skills.
Now choose one life dream and write how you can use your talents to take a small step towards your dream?
 Dickson JM, Moberly NJ, O’Dea C, Field M (2016) Goal Fluency, Pessimism and Disengagement in Depression. PLOS ONE 11(11): e0166259. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0166259
 Book: High Performance habits by Brendon Burchard
 Jiang W, Li F, Jiang H, Yu L, Liu W, Li Q, et al. (2014) Core Self-Evaluations Mediate the Associations of Dispositional Optimism and Life Satisfaction. PLoS ONE 9(6): e97752. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0097752
Pitch your tent, grab a drink and meet us by the campfire as we catch up on what it means to explore the wilderness of our wellness challenges.
When you join, you’ll receive the Campfire self-care ebook for free. Then each month you’ll get a love letter and exclusive field notes on living with hope, resilience and purpose.
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I’m the creator of Minutes to Happy and your go-to counsellor and wellness coaching companion.
I’m here to guide you in becoming your bravest self (no matter what wellness worries and chronic health challenges are plonked in your path).